Confettis of words

the bits and sketches in life

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42 Missing the red ocean


As you can see in my Twitter, I’m having so many feels about TVXQ lately. I miss them. I miss being in the fiery red ocean so much. The last time I went to see them is in June 2013 for Time Tour in Tokyo Dome, and last year I didn’t go to see them at all because I allocated my money for other groups’ concerts. But it finally hits me hard that Yunho will enlist this year and I should go to their concert again before he’s going. I hope that T1ST0RY will come to Bangkok or Singapore so I can ‘say goodbye’ to Yunho. (I’m so overwhelmed by emotion everytime I think he’s enlisting this year)

Being in the red ocean is always an unforgettable experience for me. I managed to see TVXQ several times, and each moment is a precious event I’ll never forget. The first one is in Singapore for their Fan Party in 2011. This one is incredibly special because I won a competition and could ask a question to Yunho and Changmin directly at the fanparty. They said hi to me, waved at me, and Yunho even giggled when I mentioned I’m from Indonesia. And I think since that moment I became this head over heels over Jung Yunho 🙂

The second one is in SMTOWN Jakarta back then in 2012. Well, this was memorable not in a good way because I had to wait around two hours before TVXQ finally came out? Yet that night the two showed who the kings really are. They were so energetic and charismatic on stage, I couldn’t help but being proud. It’s also their first time performing in Indonesia so I’m glad Indonesian Cassiopeias finally could see them after waiting for a long time.

Then in 2013 I went to a country that I had never been all by myself just to catch Catch Me World Tour in Hong Kong. I don’t understand from where I got the courage to do this lol. I just thought I had to see the boys’ full concert at least once in a lifetime, I had to go. So I planned everything on my own, fought my worry and flew to Hong Kong. It’s totally worth it: the best K-pop concert I’ve ever attended. (Read the full story here)


I went to Tohoshinki’s Dome Tour in 2013, which I called my personal Summer Dream 🙂 I was aware that I shouldn’t expect to be close to the stage in Tokyo Dome (different from Hong Kong where I was soooo close to the stage). But I wanted the experience, I desired to see the massive red ocean. Overall, I enjoyed the concert in Hong Kong even more because I could dance and run freely at the standing section. However, the atmosphere in Tokyo Dome is one of a kind, a feeling that you must experience at least once in a lifetime. (Go to this link for the full story!)

I listen and love many groups but I always go back to TVXQ. In K-pop fandom, I suppose they’re my home and red ocean is where I always belong to. To quote my sister and modify it a bit, they’re not my whole life, but they make my life whole. So here’s wishing more and more decades for the rising gods of the east and its grand red ocean!


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41 12 Hours without Mobile Phone

Today I decided to do something challenging for modern men, which is to go mobile-phone free for a day. Well, not exactly a day for me, just 12 hours. It was quite hard indeed because I stayed at home so usually automatically I would spend the day rambling in my Twitter. To be honest, I cheated once in the afternoon. I turned on my mobile phone and checked whether there’s any Whatsapp/Line message. But other than that, I managed to spend the day without my mobile phone. So what did I do during the day?


I read a book. I’m thinking to continue my study and one of the requirements for taking a doctoral degree is that you need to already have a dissertation proposal. I’m always interested in postcolonial studies so I’ve been thinking to conduct a further research on that. But of course I need to update my knowledge about it since the last time I studied it is like five years ago? Reading this book has refreshed my memory about postcolonialism and it reminds me again why I particularly love it. I almost finished the book but I fell asleep while reading the last chapter :p I also updated my Tab with some e-books about the same topic. Hopefully while reading these books I will find an idea for the proposal.


I listened to TVXQ’s albums. I opened my TVXQ treasure box that I had abandoned for quite a long time and listened to Keep Your Head Down, Humanoids, Tone, Time and Tree. It felt like coming home? I didn’t really notice that TVXQ is this important for me until I took some distance from them. Other groups may come and go, but I realize Yunho and Changmin will always occupy this important place in my heart. I just hope that I will get a chance to see them live again before Yunho enlists :’)

Why did I do this? I dunno, I think I’ve been unproductive lately because I spent too much time busy with my mobile phone.  I need to be less addicted to it. Overall, it’s actually okay to leave your mobile phone for a while and do something else occasionally. Maybe I should do this twice a month? Let’s see 😀

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40 Read less, less scared

(masih lanjutan cerita tentang GERD di post sebelumnya)

Gue lumayan tertohok pas baca artikel di Guardian ini karena itu yang seringkali gue lakukan kemarin-kemarin. Gue mengandalkan Google untuk mencari tahu sebab, gejala dan apa pun yang berkaitan dengan penyakit gue. Gue mencocok-cocokkan apa yang gue rasain sama informasi di internet. Awalnya sih mungkin membantu tapi lama kelamaan itu malah membawa dampak buruk buat kondisi psikologis gue. Gue jadi parno-an, mengira gue sakit ini itu (sariawan sedikit langsung mengira ini gejala kanker mulut!), dan karena terlalu banyak informasi gue jadi bingung harus berpegangan sama sumber yang mana. Ujung-ujungnya galau, terus nangis deh hahaha.

Setelah minta pendapat keluarga, akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk fokus pada satu pengobatan dulu saja. Dan pikiran gue pun akhirnya jadi lebih tenang. Ini kemudian berpengaruh sama kondisi fisik gue juga karena gue jadi merasa lebih fit. Pegal-pegal di punggung gue udah jauh berkurang dan badan lebih seger rasanya. Kemarin tekanan darah gue sempet drop dan badan rasanya lemes banget karena gue sangat memilih-milih menu makanan, takut makan ini itu. Karena apa? Ya karena kebanyakan baca informasi dari internet yang entah benar entah salah . Berbekal saran dari dokter, gue tetap menjaga menu makan tapi tetap memastikan kalau asupan gizi gue gak kurang. Kalau nyokap punya metode lain. Beliau cenderung menyarankan gue untuk sedikit-sedikit coba makanan-makanan yang selama ini jadi pantangan. Menurut beliau supaya lambung gue mulai membiasakan diri lagi sama makanan-makanan itu. Ada benernya juga sih, dan gue akhirnya mulai berani makan mi goreng (bukan mi instan tapi ya) dan camilan kayak pastel dan sosis solo. Masih sedikit-sedikit tapi lumayan lah 😀 Mungkin ke depannya gue akan coba untuk minum teh atau susu. Kopi sih masih nanti. Ultimate boss dilawannya terakhir dong hehehe.

Proses sampe bener-bener pulihnya emang panjang, dan seringkali gue gak sabar. Gue sampe harus berulang kali mengingatkan diri gue bahwa great things take time. It’ll be all worth it. Bahwa ini bukan azab (astaghfirullah lebay ya gue) dari Allah tapi kesempatan supaya gue bisa jadi manusia yang lebih sehat baik secara fisik, mental maupun spiritual. Sekarang alhamdulillah udah bisa liat situasi ini dari sisi positifnya, nggak lagi bertanya-tanya dengan gaya drama queen, “Why me?”. Semoga ke depannya bisa terus dipertahankan cara berpikir kayak begini ya, Ayu 😀

I’ll write more later with the progress of my health. Semoga di post berikutnya gue bisa nulis bahwa gue udah bisa makan normal (yayyyyy amin). Adieu for now!