Confettis of words

the bits and sketches in life


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116 On New Year’s Resolutions

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I know it’s still too early to talk about new year’s resolutions, but I want to write this post because I really can’t wait for 2018. I can’t wait to reset my life and start anew. 2017 has been fun, but there are some things that could have been better for me (especially work-related stuffs). I also think I kinda messed up my priorities this year. Too much playing apparently.

In order to achieve more in 2018, I want to organize things better by using a bullet journal. Inspired by Uti, I bought a Leuchtturm1917 journal (the emerald one, which I loooove so much) and design the layout by myself (of course I got some ideas from the net). Why do I opt for a bullet journal instead of just a common planner? The first reason is I want to make my 2018 journal more personal so that I can collect all of my ideas, schedules, and experience in one place. Secondly, making layout is actually theurapetic? Yes, it needs more efforts, but designing the pages and drawing boxes and lines are actually fun to do.

I still can’t specify my resolutions for 2018. Yet I know I have to focus on my research. My colleague and I have this amazing research idea, and this project is quite big. So I guess I have to put extra focus, sweat and tears on that hahaha.

Man, I’m so stoked about 2018.

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115 “Why do you always look so happy?”

“Why do always look so happy? I rarely see you complaining.” A colleague said this to me several days ago. I could only comment, “Really? Do I?”, because I won’t consider myself a 24-hour bright and cheerful person. I’d even consider my default self as a very melancholic person. If only my colleague knew that my brain can’t stop thinking about things and it often gives me the unnecessary mind burden.

But the thing is, I’m good at concealing my emotions in public. I don’t think I feel the need to expose my deepest thoughts and emotions. Some might view this as a trait of dishonesty, but this is how I see it: I treasure my emotions and I only reveal them when I think it’s necessary and only to people whom I highly trust. Again, this is a matter of me and my (sometimes annoying) trust issues.

About the never complaining thing, I guess it’s because I vent my frustration in other channels: in blog, diary, and social media (especially Twitter). I feel a lot better after putting my thoughts in written forms since writing has always been theurapetic for me. Having hobbies also helps, really, even the so-called shallow hobby like fangirling over K-pop idols. Read books, drink good coffee, have a solo trip, talk to my beloved, enjoy art: I do those to cheer up my mood.

Life is also a roller-coaster for me. I don’t feel happy all the time, but I try to think that it is okay. It is completely okay and it is acceptable to feel other emotions beside happiness. That’s what makes us human in the end, doesn’t it?