“Why do always look so happy? I rarely see you complaining.” A colleague said this to me several days ago. I could only comment, “Really? Do I?”, because I won’t consider myself a 24-hour bright and cheerful person. I’d even consider my default self as a very melancholic person. If only my colleague knew that my brain can’t stop thinking about things and it often gives me the unnecessary mind burden.
But the thing is, I’m good at concealing my emotions in public. I don’t think I feel the need to expose my deepest thoughts and emotions. Some might view this as a trait of dishonesty, but this is how I see it: I treasure my emotions and I only reveal them when I think it’s necessary and only to people whom I highly trust. Again, this is a matter of me and my (sometimes annoying) trust issues.
About the never complaining thing, I guess it’s because I vent my frustration in other channels: in blog, diary, and social media (especially Twitter). I feel a lot better after putting my thoughts in written forms since writing has always been theurapetic for me. Having hobbies also helps, really, even the so-called shallow hobby like fangirling over K-pop idols. Read books, drink good coffee, have a solo trip, talk to my beloved, enjoy art: I do those to cheer up my mood.
Life is also a roller-coaster for me. I don’t feel happy all the time, but I try to think that it is okay. It is completely okay and it is acceptable to feel other emotions beside happiness. That’s what makes us human in the end, doesn’t it?