Confettis of words

the bits and sketches in life

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118 He is

He is

the flame that burnt
until the very last;

the warmth that lingers on your skin
and the pure glow that refuses to leave.

The cadence that lulls you to sleep.

Á¾Çö, °¨¹Ì·Î¿î ¹«´ë

for Jjong.



113 A Thousand Senses

The girls kidnapped us on the sixteenth night of summer.

We were on our way home from one of our concerts when they took the five of us, effortlessly. Our van was speeding, passing through the empty street, then suddenly, it stopped. We didn’t feel any bump or commotion caused by the brake. It just felt like the car refused to continue moving, as if it had a mind of its own. But we were too exhausted (being on stage for three hours always drains our energy out) to check what actually stopped our car. We didn’t move an inch from our seat.

A strange kind of silence filled the air.

“Guys, did you hear that?” Jonghyun, the most sensitive among us, broke the silence.
“Hear what?” I opened my eyes, but all I could see was fog. Fog of fluorescent colours, blocking my view. I couldn’t even locate where my members were.

“I think I just heard … something’s coming.” Jjong’s sentence confused me, and when I was about to answer him again, I fell into a deep, inscrutable sleep.

The next days were surreal. Somewhere between imagination and reality, we woke up everday not knowing what day it was and where we exactly were. We just knew we were there in the moment, with the girls who took us away.

We ran around, feeling the grass stinging our bare feet. We let the sunshine burn our skin. Minho got even more tanned, his complexion glowed so beautifully against the blue, cloudless sky. We drank to satisfy every fiber of our being. Getting high in a rock gig, dancing in an abandoned warehouse, sharing cigarettes. We did so many things that had never occured in our mind before.

“We should’ve done this since a long time ago!”, Jjong chuckled in the midst of thick smoke and broken bottles of beer.

We didn’t want to be freed. We enjoyed doing everything and nothing like this.
“Maybe they’re witches and we’re all bewitched”, Kibum once joked about this.
“Maybe they are”, I replied. Yet we savoured every second with them — we wished it could be eternal.

I think we were drunk by the pool at that time when Taemin said, in a croaky voice, “I wanna live like this, forever.” Sobbing, what he always does when he’s too drunk, he laid his head on my shoulder.

I gently patted his head, caressing his soft lavender hair. “I feel the same way, Taem. Same.”

Come to think of it, I can’t really recall the girls’ faces. Except for Freia. She was the kind of beauty that would be carved in your mind once you saw her. I was too shy to look at her, but once or twice I stole the chance. Her eyes were transparent green, her lips blooming in colours of flowers. Whenever she’s around, her voice lingered on my skin and it made me nervous.

Freia danced with the wind. She sang with the moon. She healed me when I fell and scratched and bled. She made sure I was comfortable everytime the sun was too bright for my pale skin. She was here and also there. She existed with summer. She was the summer.

“Do you wanna go home?” she asked as she’s sitting next to me. The heat of the night was suffocating, and her being so close to me didn’t help either.

“I don’t know, do you still want to be with us?” I hoped she didn’t sense the agitation in my voice. For the first time, we looked at each other in the eyes.

“As long as you don’t break the spell …”

“What spell?” I noticed how her eyes were not only hypnotizing but also lonely and anxious.

She held my eyes with her stare. Silence, but then she smiled weakly, “I can’t tell it.” She stood up, leaving me restless for the rest of the night.

After several nights, I didn’t think about it again. The days were ticking away, and we continued living our younger days that were once taken from us. There wasn’t any sign for the summer to end. We didn’t mind. However, just like they said, all good things must come to an end.

Freia was getting more beautiful each day. My eyes were always looking for her, and I knew I could always find her wherever she went. And one day I couldn’t contain this feeling anymore.

“This is the best food in the world.” We were sitting outside, leaning against the grafitti wall. Our dinner tonight was a spicy noodle we bought from a street vendor. Been a long time since I had street food and could eat outside freely like this.

“Jinki, you have the most sincere smile I’ve ever seen,” she smiled, her lips curled into a shape of crescent. I blushed and almost dropped the bowl in my hand, making her laugh.
Her laughter was the melody I had always wanted to sing. This is the right time, I thought. “Freia,” I whispered her name as I moved forward, touching her lips with mine. “You’re such a beautiful view.” Our bodies were so close I was basking in the sweetness of her scent. I felt all kinds of impressions tingling all over my body.

She screamed.

“Noooo, Jinki, why did you do that?” she pushed me away. Her piercing scream made the others shift their attention from their dinner to us. Kibum stood up and came toward us, “Hey guys, anything wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Freia, I shouldn’t have done …” but before I finished my sentence, I felt a sudden weight in my head and heart. Was that …. “Freia, did I …”

“You did, you broke the spell.” Tears were running down her cheeks. In seconds, her figure cracked, broken into thousands of colorless pieces. I reached out my hand to hold her but touched nothing. I looked at my members, but they froze before turning translucent and disappearing. All of my senses suddenly became numb.

I woke up in my own bed, drenched in sweat and feeling unusually fatigue. My cellphone rang, it was Jonghyun.

“Hyung, what time will you arrive at the studio?” There’s weariness in his voice too. I wanted to ask whether he had the same lengthy dream, but afraid of being ridiculed at, I refrained from letting the curiosity out. It was the seventeenth day of summer.

I kept myself occupied with practice and recording in order to forget about the scenes and the time we spent with the girls. The days went on as usual, although sometimes — maybe I was being delusional — I could smell her presence around.

Freia. Maybe she’s not real, but her name will always stay inside me.

The days get colder, as the colors grow warmer. Autumn is almost here in Seoul.

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112 Menonton SWC V di Hong Kong

Sebelum akhirnya memutuskan untuk berangkat ke Hong Kong untuk SHINee World Concert V, gue sempat maju mundur (gak pake cantik sayangnya). Ragu karena gue baru balik dari Jepang bulan Maret, duitnya cukup gak ya? Terus kalau gue izin ke orangtua pergi untuk nonton SHINee lagi dikasih gak ya? Alhamdulillah akhirnya dikasih izin sama orangtua, meskipun nyokap sempat khawatir karena gue pergi sendirian ke Hong Kong (kalau ke Jepang beliau gak terlalu khawatir, knowing how neat and safe the country is). Tapi kemudian gue berhasil yakinin beliau kalau insya Allah akan baik-baik saja karena gue udah pernah ke sana sendirian sebelumnya. Terus alhamdulillah berikutnya ternyata uangnya cukup, karena akhirnya dapet tiket pesawat yang murah, seperti yang gue bilang di tulisan sebelumnya. Jadi deh berangkat ke Hong Kong!


Mengenai tiket, gue tau udah bakal susah untuk dapat tiket di barisan depan karena gue belinya semingguan dari tanggal penjualan tiket dibuka. Karena sebelumnya di Jakarta gue udah nonton di kelas standing, untuk yang di Hong Kong duduk pun gue gak masalah. Gue juga tau venue Asia World Arena gak terlalu besar, jadi nonton di barisan belakang masih bisa melihat ke panggung dengan jelas. Gue akhirnya dapet tiket di Block 8 Row S dengan pandangan lurus ke panggung. Buat gue sih view-nya bagus dan gue bisa melihat keseluruhan panggung, beserta efek-efek cahayanya.

Sedikit tips untuk yang tertarik nonton di Hong Kong, Asia World Arena lokasinya di dekat airport dan jarak dari pusat kota ke airport bisa sampai 45 menit kalau naik bis (transportasi paling murah). Jadi jangan datang mepet-mepet, apalagi kalau kamu mau antri beli goods segala. Dari daerah Tsim Sha Tsui, gue naik bus A21 sampai halte terakhir, dilanjutkan dengan bus lain yang lewat Asia Expo-nya.


Salah satu alasan kenapa gue suka nonton konser di Hong Kong karena pengaturan crowd-nya yang rapi. Penonton di kelas standing diberikan queue number yang sudah tertera di tiket sejak pembelian, dan jam 4 mereka sudah harus berbaris rapi. Hall yang sedang tidak dipakai dijadikan waiting dock untuk penonton kelas standing. Karena gue duduk, gue lebih santai dan masih sempat untuk antri goods. Antrian goods-nya lumayan panjang! Gue masuk antrian jam setengah 4 dan gue akhirnya sampai di depan booth jam 5. Tapi ini masih jauh lebih mendingan dibandingkan pas antri goods di Yoyogi, saudara-saudari. Saat itu gue ngantri 3 jam di tengah-tengah cuaca dingin. jadi satu setengah jam aja gampang lah hahahaha (walau kaki pegel-pegel juga sih). Jalur pembelian goods-nya cukup efektif. Ketika mengantri kita dibelikan formulir, lengkap dengan berapa jumlah maksimal yang bisa dibeli untuk tiap jenis barang. Setelah mengisi, kita membayar di kasir (cash only) dan mengambil barangnya di booth berikutnya.

Agak susah untuk nyeritain konsernya secara kronologis, tapi gue inget banget pas lampu dimatiin, fanlight dinyalain dan member SHINee muncul, gue mulai norak dan pengen mewek. Apalagi pas liat Minho, ya Tuhan, rasa rindu yang begitu besar tersalurkan sudah. (apaan, baru juga ketemu dua bulan sebelumnya). Konser dimulai dengan dua lagu favorit gue, Hitchhiking dan Married to The Music. Aransemen Hitchhiking untuk SWC V ini ciamik sekali, dan menurut gue lagu ini emang cocok untuk jadi lagu pembuka. Lagu lain yang juga jadi favorit gue di SWC V itu Black Hole, koreografi tangannya lucu dan I love, love, love the groovy beat of the song. Saviour was also my favourite! Pas mereka lompat-lompat dan muter-muter handuk itu bikin pengen lompat-lompat juga sebenarnya. Apa daya gue duduk dan kanan kiri gue gak ada yang berdiri, jadi gue goyang-goyang kecil aja. Penampilan solonya Taemin Goodbye juga salah satu yang gue tunggu-tunggu. Taemin itu memang indah banget ya, apalagi rambutnya lagi icy blue waktu itu. He looks like a real fairy.


Tapi ya, ngomong-ngomong tentang LEE TAEMIN … MALAM ITU DIA NAKAL SEKALI. Waktu Ready or Not, pas member lain nari muter-muter (koreo khasnya lagu ini), dia malam sibuk tebar pesona ke arah penonton. Udah gitu di sesi yang sama, pas mereka baju putih, dia sempet buka jaketnya sambil senyam-senyum menggoda ke arah penonton. Kelakuannya malam itu lagi warbiyasak pokoknya. Tapi tentu saja bukan Taemin namanya kalau gak ribet. Setelah Goodbye, dia ganti baju dan harus balik lagi ke panggung untuk Ring Ding Dong. Dia buru-buru kan tuh untuk masuk ke formasi, dan dia hampir kepleset aja dong pas di bagian panggung yang menurun. Udah gitu dia sempet ribet sendiri sama ristleting jaketnya yang macet. Pas Everybody dia juga bermasalah sama ear-in-nya (kabelnya melintir kayaknya). Langsung dia copot dan lempar aja loh.  Sepanjang konser, gue cuma bisa gemes sendiri ngeliat kelakuan Taemin.

Di konser Hong Kong kali ini juga ada sesi mereka berkeliling dengan kereta (untuk lagu Amazing). Tiga kereta disediakan oleh penyelenggara. Jjong dan Onew di satu kereta, Taemin dan Key berdua, dan Minho sendirian. Yang duduk di baris A bener-bener dapet rezeki melimpah malam itu karena SHINee melintas deket banget di depan mereka! Minho dan Key beberapa kali bersalaman dengan penonton, dan lagi-lagi Taemin bertingkah dengan melakukan aegyo di depan Shawol. Berbeda dengan yang di Indonesia, di Hong Kong mereka berkeliling sambil membagi-bagikan bola bertanda tangan.

Untuk menyambut ulang tahun SHINee tanggal 25 Mei, Shawol Hong Kong juga menyiapkan beberapa proyek. Salah satunya ketika lagu Replay, penonton diberikan kipas dengan wajah member SHINee di dua sisi. Satu sisi wajah mereka era debut dan di sisi lainnya pas era 1of1. Sayangnya proyek ini gak begitu jalan karena sepertinya gak semua Shawol kebagian kipasnya. Proyek lain adalah balon dengan LED untuk lagu Aside. Sayang gue gak bisa foto tapi itu cantiiiiik banget. Member SHINee terlihat aware sama proyek ini, dan Minho juga setelah lagu selesai mengacungkan jempol sebagai bentuk terima kasih ke penonton. Untuk encore, kami pun menyanyikan lagu ulang tahun dalam bahasa Korea.


Kalau dari segi penampilan, SHINee memang gak pernah mengecewakan. Makanya nonton konser mereka tuh selalu nagih. Vocal-wise, I think we all agree that they have one of the best harmonizations in K-pop. Dari segi koreografi, mereka berlima juga gak pernah keliatan kesusahan untuk melakukan koreo yang sulit kayak Everybody atau yang membutuhkan properti kayak Dream Girl. Menurut gue, selalu ada detil yang menarik untuk ditonton dari setiap performance SHINee. Sayangnya untuk konser di Hong Kong, beberapa lagu gak dibawain, misalnya Lucky Star sama Punch Drunk Love. Jadi beruntung kita yang nonton di Jakarta bisa dapet setlist yang lengkap.

Ada yang nanya di Twitter, lebih seru mana, konser JAT atau SWC V? Kalau dari segi setlist, gue lebih suka SWC V ya. Banyak lagu yang gue suka dibawain. Dari segi outfit juga gue lebih suka SWC V, karena entah kenapa kalau grup K-pop konser di Jepang outfitnya suka gak sesuai ama selera gue. Untuk VCR gue juga lebih suka SWC V yang warna-warni dan dinamis. Tapi dari segi lain, mereka lebih interaktif sama penonton Jepang (tentu saja karena faktor bahasa). Pas JAT ada sesi tanya jawab dengan fanlight dan mereka banyak bercanda dengan penonton. Lalu juga untuk tata panggung, JAT lebih gila-gilaan (remember ABOAB?). Di JAT juga ada konfigurasi setiap lagu dan VCR dengan fanlight. Tiap rangkaian tur punya kekhasannya masing-masing, jadi susah juga kalau ditanya lebih seru yang mana.

3 SHINee concerts in six months. I could never be more grateful for the amazing experience and trips. Lalu apa sudah cukup mengejar SHINee-nya? Hahahaha kayaknya belum ya. I’m still craving for more of their live performances! Saatnya nabung untuk SWC VI, I guess? 🙂